Star Wars: The Last Jedi

The below is spoiler ridden and explains why I personally hated The Last Jedi. I'm writing this down so anyone who would like to understand my position may do so. If you loved the movie A LOT, don't bother to read this. I'm not going to argue any of the points below. Your enjoyment has no bearing on my hatred and in fact, I'd rather you have had a great time than try to convince me I'm wrong. 

Also, only read this post if you're not insanely passionate about the new Star Wars outings. This will just make you angry and why bother? Speaking of that, I'm writing this down because people have thought my opinion was totally unfounded or not well thought out. Believe me, I paid attention to the movie and there was plenty about it that I found to be lacking for a huge blockbuster movie.

​MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

The movie was too short: The original cut of the movie was over 3 hours long. This is truncated and has too much happening in too short of a time. There were a ton of events crammed together and, like the theatrical version of Return of the King, this movie suffered from feeling like there were tons of little things that would've bound the movie together. Great examples below.

Getting a Code Breaker: So they have 18 hours of fuel. Two people leave the ship to get a guy who can help them break into the ship to turn off the tracker. The chances of this happening are so low, it's just the kind of insanity that Star Wars heroes try. However, when they're on their way back, they find out they've got hardly any time left. There's no way they can sneak aboard and do what they need to do AND have enough fuel for the hyperspace to work. Furthermore, why didn't the Admiral TELL her people the plan? They were practically mutinous and at a time when they needed to work together, she skillfully sowed disunity. 

Supergirl Princess: Why did General Leia suddenly develop the power to survive deep space and fly around? Where was the precedent for that? When did we learn that she'd become a Jedi master capable of that? And why was it necessary? Maybe not have her sucked out of the ship and just got her hurt by an explosion? 

Luke's Death: One of the actors said in an interview that people want entertainment and want to get away from the darkness of day to day living. Watching a man exhaust himself and die from being tired kinda represents the real world. Why kill off Luke? Hollywood 'typical' trope is to kill a guy when he does something horrible. He didn't kill Kylo Ren. He came to his senses before he did it. The darkness finally got to the child and he went nuts as a result. That doesn't really mean he needed to die. And why did Luke's projection have the ability to touch people? Again, where is the precedent in ANY other movie? Yes, Yoda touched him in this one but I think that's a little bit too recent for a massive franchise to pull off what we saw.

Snoke: In general. His death, the lack of ANY information about him, the fact he was able to throw people around like a bitch...so little about him made sense. He's just an Emperor clone without the background. Maybe the next movie will explain but now, the First Order has a petulant child in charge and a sniveling douche bag as his right hand buddy. The way he died made no sense. I get how they glossed over Kylo's ploy but this guy was able to pull off some insane stuff. Why was he not able to see his own death in that final moment? And how do they think they can just kill such a character off so quickly? And what was up with his guards? Again, no precedent, no explanation and only assumption. I GUESS they could be the guys that Kylo brought with him from the temple but why would they attack him? Were they that brainwashed? There needed to be some explanation.

The Rebellion Reduced: The Resistance started out as a viable force and has been reduced to enough people to fit on the Falcon. Really? Do they just want to make Rogue One again? How did the First Order get the resources to build those ships? And why didn't the Republic have similar resources? Oh, wait. Because they destroyed the entire fleet in The Force Awakens. It seems like it would've been a good idea to let the support ships get away and blow up JUST the capital ship. Still would've been dramatic but then you wouldn't have had it feel like the Resistance were total amateurs. Many of the best military minds of the Republic were aboard and butchered. I guess their old victories were just luck.

The Humor: The humor in this felt tacked on and, as one reviewer stated, made the film tonally uneven. BB8's moment trying to fix the guns and they reenact Hole in the Dike. Nearly reenacting the numb tongue scene from Star Trek when Finn is tased. Poe's 'Holding for Hux'. Luke tossing the saber over his shoulder. These things didn't fit with the darker points like when one of the red armored guys gets literally gibbeted by falling into a turbine or Snoke being cut in half. Or Kylo Ren raging out on the elevator (more tantrums, I guess you could call that part funny). The lack of balance really made it more uncomfortable than funny.

Ultimately, I felt like something I loved as a child had been mishandled by a new generation. Maybe I just didn't want to see someone that I literally was inspired by as a 6 year old grow old and die. Maybe I didn't want to see Chewie solo in the Falcon. Instead of feeling fan serviced, I just felt unhappy. It left me uninspired and depressed. I honestly would've left during the 'Hold for Hux' scene had I seen the movie alone. 

Maybe I wouldn't have loathed it at home and simply shrugged it off but going on a Thursday night, before anyone else to avoid spoilers, committed me to something huge. I didn't go in expecting a miracle or something I would absolutely love. The last sci fi that did that was Guardians of the Galaxy 1. But I did expect to find it a competent outing for Star Wars. Right now, Rogue One and all the cartoons are vastly superior to these Kylo Ren riddled piles of trash. 

The Last Jedi cured me of Star Wars though honestly, The Force Awakens was the first dose I needed, Rogue One almost made me relapse but this finished me off.