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Soylent: Not the movie, the drink

6/21/2016

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A Meal Substitute

Picture
I decided to give Soylent a try for many reasons. The most prominent one being that I'm a lazy bastard who hates to prepare food. It's annoying and takes time out of my productivity. This means Soylent is literally made for me (and every other slob who can't be bothered to put together a reasonably healthy meal).

I set out to try it and picked up 28 meals worth (that's 7 bags of powder). I went with 1.5 because it's a little less expensive (by about 70 cents a meal) and all I had to do was pre-blend up 4 meals worth of food. You may be thinking 'if you're such a lazy bastard, then how did you think you'd make Soylent?' and it's a good question. I can't answer you but I can say, it doesn't take as long as making a decent plate of spaghetti.

First off, mine wasn't as brown as that, more beige actually. The process to make it was very simple. Put some water in the pitcher, dump the powder in, shake the hell out of it, add more water, chill. I also used an immersion hand blender to get rid of the clumps. I will tell you this: it needs more than that because 1) It was nasty. 2) It's way too watery. I'm thinking ice to make it more like a shake and maybe some honey (it worked out).

What it is: A suitable meal replacement that made me full and kept me alive.

What it is not: A delicious option for a meal over a Red Robin/Pizza pick.

I'm not upset I bought it. In fact, I'm excited to stay on the program and get through it. However, I think life's too short to drink brown goo as your only form of sustenance. It's a great 'I'm busy, give me some Soylent' type of meal. But the only thing you ever consume besides water? No.

A lot of people ask 'what does Soylent taste like?' and for whatever reason, everyone has a different answer. I'm no different. Soylent tastes like Pancake Batter to me. Which is frankly disgusting. When I added some honey (blackberry honey to be specific) it was palatable and I was able to finish it. Many people have different suggestions for how to spruce up your not-people gruel. If you're interested in trying this, definitely check them out.

Remember: Soylent is NOT people. They haven't gotten into colors yet so we're safe from chowing on our neighbors. 

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    Robert Hazelton

    Author of several books, composer of several CDs. Please check out the rest of the site for some of my work.

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